Having coffee this morning and the conversation came around to New Year’s Resolutions and the question was asked…. ‘Who had one’? Well I had flirted with the idea of being more kind… when I voiced it, well my husband’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head and his mouth dropped open and in effect said ‘when are you going to start?’ Good question I guess, as far as he is concerned I have always struggled with the idea of giving in gracefully and cannot entertain the idea of not being right, when I am – So in order to be kind to my husband sometimes I may have to pretend to be wrong - or maybe just small increments/baby steps like not ‘rubbing his nose in it’ when I claim the victory (maybe that would be a way of breaking myself of the habit gently).
I am not sure what he was expecting from my decision to be more kind and I have not fully decided how this will look, this resolution, just poking it around a bit but I guess it needs to be my version of 'kind'... as I do love the odd sarcastic comment (which probably isn’t kind). Another asked ‘ kind to whom?’ Maybe it could be ME I should be kind to and I should stop trying to please everyone in my family because lets face it this has always been fodder for psychiatrists (and has no doubt funded a Lamborghini or two listening to various versions of ‘oh my mother always liked my bigger/littler sister/brother better – hmmm sound familiar - perception can be interesting) I am never going to please all the people all the time. I think if it was just ME, that i am being kind to it would end up being a little selfish and ultimately unkind, so a broader application will definately be needed.
As my new years resolution two years ago I decided I was going to be braver and do some of the things I had been fearful of – thinks like flying, going overseas, leaving my children with their father for a whole week without any other adult supervision. It worked so well that I continued that theme on into 2013. I have now got over my anxiety about flying, I can find my own luggage in an overseas Italian airport with no phone, no husband, ‘help desk’ attendants who can only say “it’s a nota my fault” and three hungry kids, I can parallel
park, public speak (if I have too) and a whole heap of things I don’t even remember. So I guess, ask me in a year how kindness has worked out for me and I will be in a better position to tell you and as a famous toilet block lurker’er once sang ‘well ya gotta have faith’
I am not sure what he was expecting from my decision to be more kind and I have not fully decided how this will look, this resolution, just poking it around a bit but I guess it needs to be my version of 'kind'... as I do love the odd sarcastic comment (which probably isn’t kind). Another asked ‘ kind to whom?’ Maybe it could be ME I should be kind to and I should stop trying to please everyone in my family because lets face it this has always been fodder for psychiatrists (and has no doubt funded a Lamborghini or two listening to various versions of ‘oh my mother always liked my bigger/littler sister/brother better – hmmm sound familiar - perception can be interesting) I am never going to please all the people all the time. I think if it was just ME, that i am being kind to it would end up being a little selfish and ultimately unkind, so a broader application will definately be needed.
As my new years resolution two years ago I decided I was going to be braver and do some of the things I had been fearful of – thinks like flying, going overseas, leaving my children with their father for a whole week without any other adult supervision. It worked so well that I continued that theme on into 2013. I have now got over my anxiety about flying, I can find my own luggage in an overseas Italian airport with no phone, no husband, ‘help desk’ attendants who can only say “it’s a nota my fault” and three hungry kids, I can parallel
park, public speak (if I have too) and a whole heap of things I don’t even remember. So I guess, ask me in a year how kindness has worked out for me and I will be in a better position to tell you and as a famous toilet block lurker’er once sang ‘well ya gotta have faith’
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