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charged conditioning

8/19/2012

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It was with great anxiety that I reached into my letter box last week to retrieve the envelope that causes me pain - both mental and financial, yes it was the electricity bill. I feel like I have put all my money on a single spin of the roulette wheel as I open the envelope...has all my manic switch flicking or power point offing had any effect? will I be able to feed the family, put petrol in the car or do coffee mornings??? I ripped the bandaid off quickly (eg opened the envelope) and was pleasantly suprised to see that it is $400 less than last quarter...great, fantastic, I feel light headed with relief, I did a little Gene Kelly side kick, two heels mid air click together, in celebration on the front lawn (I find this old fall back Gene Kelly move very appropriate to express joy that there are no words appropriate for)
..... EXCEPT when is $1200 still OK?
It took me a full day for this to sink in and the realisation to surface that this is NOT ok and it is still unacceptably high and as a consumer I feel used and dirty (and I didn't even enjoy it), like my youth it was squandered.  Have I been so conditioned to be thrilled that my power bill is less, but still unacceptably high -apparently yes. What next? The Carbon Levy? It wasnt so long ago that we were all raging about the doubling of our water bills....(quite sobbing can be heard).... 

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