Devastation has set in - I will never, ever, dance like the couple do on the ad currently on telly (comm bank I think). You go through life with the vague idea that you will get to these things... but in a 'moment' I realised that it is not going to happen - and it is not because I just won't get the time Nothing so easily reversible like a schedule rearrange or a diary entry, it is that my body will never move like that, it never has, so why in my middle age would I hang onto the belief that it would. Where had this idea come from? perhaps it was from my high childhood consumption of Gene Kelly matinee movies - boy could he dance (even in those high waisted trousers). Was it films like dirty dancing, or flash dance? did I secretly want to be a welder too? or be called Baby and sit in the corner?
It wasn't actually an acknowledge thought, fully formed, until I understood that it wouldn't happen. Now that this realisation has reared it's ugly head, the thoughts of what else? what else might I have unconsciously hankered over, mentally pushing to one side with the 'too much to do today' excuse that I will also, never, actually accomplish... or could I go and enrol in a dance class? could I?
It wasn't actually an acknowledge thought, fully formed, until I understood that it wouldn't happen. Now that this realisation has reared it's ugly head, the thoughts of what else? what else might I have unconsciously hankered over, mentally pushing to one side with the 'too much to do today' excuse that I will also, never, actually accomplish... or could I go and enrol in a dance class? could I?
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